so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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