420 ftw
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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