I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
