If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
