A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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