My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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