What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
