Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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