I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
