Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
