I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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