that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize