Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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