Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
