marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
