just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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