Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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