I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he was CRYING into my vagina
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
