And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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