do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
