You work out of a Hotel?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
