You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
