He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
