I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize