I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
