i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
They have beer where we have blood.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize