My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
