I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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