He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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