I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize