I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
