Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
