i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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