I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
