Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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