don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
