and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
