i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
