time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
