Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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