As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
