they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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