Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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