I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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