I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
