I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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