In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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