I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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