Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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