Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
