I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
how drunk are you?
Several
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
