if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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