Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
