Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
