so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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