yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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