I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
