i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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