I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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