So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
