vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
