a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
