I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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