i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
