Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
