Pants 0. Shit 1.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize