He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
