my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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