I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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