I heard we made out
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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