i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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