Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
